Something fresh, that’s what I need. Maybe I’ll find it here, maybe I won’t, but it doesn’t hurt to look and whine a little bit I suppose.
The definition of a non sequitur is a disconnection between the premise and the conclusion of an argument, making it fallacious. I’m going to extrapolate a bit on that and make a non sequitur of the entire reason I posted this, just go for the ride, my mind has a lot of speed bumps and it’s best to not ask questions.
I find myself wondering a lot more recently about the many differing paths that could have been my life. The “what if’s” and the “could have, would have, should have’s”. Probably not the healthiest thing to tackle on my own, but meh, I’ve gone this long without imploding like a giant star, maybe I can hold off the supernova a while longer.
Point is, I’ve often come to the conclusion that regardless of what path I missed, whichever one may have resulted in more money, more job security or more robust relationships with my friends, this is the hand I’ve been dealt and I have to make the best of it. Laissez-fair has been my motto for a while and I’ve been okay with that, but every once in a while the nagging part of my brain that can’t just accept things and move on pops up like a whack-a-mole neurosis.
To be frank I’m just glad to be writing again, regardless of what I’m talking about, and I suppose that’s the total non sequitur. The premise of my life may not connect with the conclusion, or at least the conclusion I want to have. I’ve ended up in a place, trying to do something that never seemed like a viable job surrounded by people that I don’t even know how to categorize and all the while just trying to keep my head above water.
Fortunately I’m a halfway decent swimmer.